ORIGIN STORY: Written for MARTHA PEREZ by Val Roskens Tews

My first career was in the field of applied behavior analysis (ABA), which primarily focuses on helping children with autism overcome some of the barriers that come with that diagnosis. I spent 11 years in a career that never felt completely right. It never felt like a supportive environment.

It had trouble relating to the job, even though I tried really hard to make it fit. What was weird was that I had different jobs while I was in college, such as a salesperson and as a server, and I actually felt more comfortable in those kinds of roles than in my chosen career path. I think it was because in those part-time jobs, I was part of a community and made friends.

In the ABA field, I discovered a grand majority of the people found it difficult to feel supportive and valued. I tried switching companies, but it was the same thing. I would talk to friends at different companies and they felt the same way. This led to discouragement and hopelessness.

I was often overlooked for promotions and even though I was expected to be in a supervisory position, I never received any leadership training. I was assigned the work load without the pay raise. And sometimes, I would have to train the people who were hired to be above me! I had to train them on how to give me feedback once they were in that position – it was crazy! The people who were in these leadership positions were company owners, not leaders.

After several years of this, I became so tired of the lack of management and leadership training. I was treated very poorly in my roles, despite the many sacrifices I made. I became burnt out – something extremely common in this field. It’s discouraging because you’re trying your hardest – these are kids, these are lives that you’re responsible for changing. It resulted in a lot of pressure.

It got to the point where I felt forgotten – and stuck. But, all my experience was in the field of working with kids with autism – who’s going to give me a job outside of that area? I decided to go back to school to get my master’s in leadership – to learn the skills and training I needed, that were completely lacking in my ABA job.

I worked my full-time job and a part-time job, while attending school. I finished the program in two years. When you don’t give yourself an option, you’re going to get it done! It’s all about mindset.

While I was learning all of the information in the management classes, it became incredibly evident that there was a lot of training lacking in the field I was in. It was very disheartening to see that there were so many resources available on how to train, manage, and lead people, but nobody ever bothered to use or apply them.

Once I obtained my master’s, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I felt resistance within me when looking for a job. I never felt aligned or excited about any of the job possibilities because I didn’t want to stay in the ABA field any longer. I was so frustrated and angry – I just wanted to be done!

Discovering the World of Personal Development

A whole new dimension opened up when I discovered the world of personal development. I watched Mel Robbins’ TED talk and read her book called The Five Second Rule. That was my first personal development book.

I learned about Simon Sinek’s TED talk (his famous “Golden Circle” talk) during my last semester in the organizational behavior management class. There was something about the passion and conviction behind his words, in addition to his beautifully articulated message, that resonated deep inside me. I watched it repeatedly as I felt like someone had finally put words to what I had been feeling and thinking for years.

I then immersed myself into his work, his books, his talks. All of it fired me up! It made me better at my job – I felt empowered! I had a clarity as to why we do what we do and it helped the people I was supervising. I received praise from them, but never from upper management because they seemed not to care.

Throughout this personal discovery time, I realized that this was a metaphor for life. The reason that things don’t always improve is because if they did, you would stay. Sometimes things have to get progressively worse to show you that you need to leave. Things don’t get better because you are not meant to stay in that position. You are meant to move on and the Universe will literally make it a living hell until you just can’t bear it anymore. You have to make a change and I finally got to that point.

During this time, I came across a wonderful quote from Simon Sinek in his book, Leaders Eat Last: “Let us all be the leaders we wish we had.” These words became my mission – to help others become the leaders they wished they had.

Turning Point

November 2020 was a turning point for me. We were in lockdown because of the pandemic, yet we were expected to figure out how to supply services to children with autism via the computer – with no support and no guidance. No one asked me how I was doing…no one cared…

What ended up “pushing me out the door” was when I got written up for the first time ever in my life because I was submitting my reports late. I was burnt out. That is the #1 sign of burn out: when your top performers start to tank. Instead of asking if something was wrong, I simply received a text saying, “Be at the office.” I arrived and then was written up (which is totally wrong!). It is so hard for me to keep trying when I was completely unappreciated!

Your leader is like a parent – you do what you see them do. You follow the leader. But they were stealing my joy.

Eventually, I had to pick me – but then I couldn’t find a job. The pandemic was happening and I was very unmotivated. I gained a ton of weight. I was horribly in debt. I spent my time eating and shopping – my top two dopamine-triggering activities. I had nothing rewarding in my life…

Then I heard about a 7-day workshop on how to be a coach. I thought, “What’s a coach?” I had no clue, but decided at the last minute to sign up for it. I started learning about what’s involved with coaching. Then another guy named Dean came on and there was something about him that made me want to learn more. It felt right! These were the conversations I was craving!

I chose to invest in myself for the first time ever! I had a call with Dean which led me to choose coaching as my new career. I had to determine what type of coach and that part was easy. I knew it had to be as a leadership development coach.

My mission became clear: I want to help people break through the thing that almost broke me. Many so-called leaders are clueless or choosing to ignore the damage they are doing. I know the suffering. I want to be the solution to the problem that I and many others have been suffering with.

I first started out working with leaders in the applied behavior space because I wanted to help the managers in this field become better. I looked at it this way: if I help the leader who is the cause/catalyst of the suffering improve, then I can help improve the lives of the people who are in that person’s charge.

That’s how I began my coaching journey. I have since pivoted again to include entrepreneurs as well. I am happy to build new leaders who are ready to take on new opportunities.

My Mission

My “why” is this: To help other people discover and achieve their full potential so that we can all live substantially more fulfilling lives. The vessel in which I am doing that is through coaching, specifically through leadership development coaching.

I want to help infuse a special kind of energy into people who are discouraged and disheartened. Even when no one else is giving you permission to do something or even when the opportunity is not present, I want to help create that opportunity. That alone will create a different outcome.

Most of us have been conditioned to think that the path to success has to be followed in a certain way – there are steps to take in a specific order. But when opportunities don’t happen like we expect, we blame ourselves. We internalize that we did something wrong. We need to teach people that everyone has a special gift inside of them and that there isn’t just one path to success.

It’s common to care about what people think, but it doesn’t mean that we have to believe them. We tend to project our insecurities on to someone else. To be a leader doesn’t mean you have to be liked, but you do need to be respected. I really want to help empower as many people as possible – to help build positive leaders who will make a difference.

My Vision

I want to empower people who are in the “follower position” be able to step up and be the leader they wish they had and then to help others. I want to create new leaders by giving them the tools they need to become an effective and positive leader. I want to help change the company culture.

This has become my purpose because I chose to step out and break free. I believed I could do and I did it. I want to help others break free and create their own paths.

My Core Values

My three main core values are:

• Honesty
  I will call out the elephant in the room, but I will do so with gentleness and compassion.

• Authenticity
  I believe in being authentic. I want to create safe spaces and promote clear communication.

• Integrity
  Our beliefs show up in our words. I take my words very seriously because our words change our mindset. Showing integrity is essential because it complements honesty and authenticity.

My Superpowers

Three of my superpowers are connection, learning, and vision.

Connection: I love connecting and conversing with people and helping them feel comfortable enough to open up.

Learning: I’m obsessed with learning new things and find it genuinely exciting to acquire new knowledge and skills as a result of pairing interest with effort.

Vision: Despite where someone is currently at in their life or the insecurities they’re currently holding onto, I have the ability to see someone’s true potential. I can’t guarantee they’ll reach it (only they know that), but I can see when they aren’t tapping into their full potential and their possibilities for growth.

Five Words

Five words that describe me and my business:

• Passionate
• Invested
• Committed
• Inspiring
• All-in

My personal mission is to help others discover and reach their full potential. It’s what I’m after for myself, my clients, and what I inspire others to do. This is what alignment feels like and it’s truly wonderful!

“Let us all be the leaders we wish we had.”  ~ Simon Sinek

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Contact information for Martha Perez:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/martha-i-perez/
martha@marthaiperez.com