ANCHOR ARTICLE: Written for VANESSTA SPARK by Val Roskens Tews

Just a mindset change wasn’t enough…

After I retired from the school system, God nudged me to tell my story for His glory. This is when I began my business, YOUnique Spark. However, building my business triggered many unhealed wounds, so I looked to God for my healing.

I started by changing my mindset, but it did not produce long-term healing. My heart was too bruised and broken. I discovered that unhealed pain doesn’t go away with only a mindset change. But changes in mindset are needed to get to the broken heart.

I began a journey to have the Holy Spirit heal my heart. Through a series of heart healings, I learned about the armor I built around my heart to survive daily. As I sought inner healing, my relationship with the Holy Spirit deepened. I began to recognize His voice, and not the voice of my own or the enemy. As I sought more solitude, prayer, awareness, and reflection, my knowingness of who He is grew stronger.

One day in May, I had a divine encounter with the Holy Spirit as I worked with a friend. I heard and had a vision of Jesus. And for a Norwegian Lutheran, this encounter is like a miracle!

It began with Jesus walking me down the steps of a cellar where wooden doors were opened. I walked into a cool, dark, foggy cave-like room. Jesus was beside me, encouraging me to walk into the water. The water was murky, dark, and cold. I kept going into the water until it was up to my neck. Looking around, I couldn’t see anything, so I asked Him, “What do you want me to learn here, Holy Spirit?” Then, I saw a picture moving around the wall of the cave. It was my dad, and he was smiling. As I watched the frame of his face move by, the water became more and more blue, like turquoise. The cave became brighter, and I felt renewed.

As we walked up the steps into the sunshine, I noticed I was becoming younger and younger.  I had started at my present age, but as I continued walking up the steps, I became 40, then 20, then 10, 5, and finally, I was a toddler − still holding His hand. As we walked into the sunlight, we came to a room. I think it was my aunt and uncle’s house. I was nine months old and had been dropped off by my dad. I wouldn’t say I liked being dropped off there. I wouldn’t say I liked the smell of the house. I didn’t know these people, and I felt scared. Where were my parents? Where was my blanket?  My heart was beating so fast because I was afraid. I felt sick and abandoned. I didn’t know when my parents would come back to pick me up. Then I felt Him.

I felt a strong presence behind me and His arms under my arms. As we moved across the olive-green carpeted floor, I started walking for the first time. He took me into the room with a rocking chair in the corner and sat down. I crawled onto His lap, and He rocked me, holding me near His face. He started singing to me, telling me I was beautiful and valuable to Him.

He told me I did not need to be afraid anymore. My feelings of rejection and abandonment were not true because He had always been with me. Then I realized that the big rejection wound I had felt all these years was gone. I could never figure out where the rejection had come from, but I had always felt the need to be my best at everything I did so I wouldn’t be rejected by anyone. This has been a heavy burden for me to carry for 60 years. My heart was starting to heal…

After this beautiful heart healing, the vision returned to where I held hands with Jesus, and the toddler came with me. She put her head on my shoulder as if bidding me goodbye. She didn’t want to stay with me; she wanted to be with Jesus. Then He lifted her, holding her as we continued to walk into the light. Jesus was caring for my pain of feeling rejected and fearful.

I know this now because I have felt His Presence: Jesus takes our pain and struggles so we don’t have to carry them anymore. He leaves us with hearts that feel secure, strong, and confident.

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Contact information for Vanessta Spark:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessta-spark/
vanessta@youniquespark.com